Tag Archive | self care

Reactions Run Amuck

What is happening?????
Why are people acting out so violently?????


Perhaps it’s time for one long time out:  Take a break from all of the things that anger, distress, worry or frighten us; find some quiet, nurturing peace and calm down.  There does seem to be a corporate unrest in the air these days.


Some of this seems more like attitude run amuck than simple anger.  Just read these news briefs:

Religious leaders in California are calling for a police investigation after identical letters were sent to local mosques hailing President-elect Donald Trump and calling for death to Muslims.

PHILADELPHIA (AP) – Police in Philadelphia say three men hanging Christmas lights were shot after getting into an argument with a passing motorist.

A 62-year-old white man accused of shooting a 15-year-old black teenager to death Monday night in Charleston, W.Va., allegedly told police after the murder, according to the Charleston Gazette-Mail: “The way I look at it, that’s another piece of trash off the street.”

CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. – Coral Springs Fire Rescue reports that one person died and another was wounded in a shooting at Coral Square Mall on Saturday morning.

A Good Samaritan who tried to stop a woman being assaulted was shot to death outside a Texas Walmart packed with shoppers on Black Friday while another man in New Jersey was also killed outside a mall, authorities said.

(CNN) One person is in custody after three Starbucks coffee shops were vandalized in Albuquerque, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

A gunman wildly fired shots into the air in a Long Island hospital parking lot early Saturday, officials said. John Gamble, 35, pumped off multiple rounds from a .9 mm handgun about 5:50 a.m.

I couldn’t find it again, but there was a story about someone shooting a teen who bumped him.
There was also another one that read something like, “Trump gives Democrats reason to stay angry.”  (Really, they need to stay angry???)

The best antidote I know is to step away from all of the rhetoric, news stories – whether professional or just plain gossip – and clear your own head.
I also think it is important to set your boundaries at the point where you still deal with things well.  I, for example, limit the amount of news I read or listen to.  Remember, a lot of what we here on the news is distorted at best, so don’t let it all under your skin.


Another strategy I use is to stay away from conversations that will produce nothing except anger, frustration and disagreement.  Don’t get me wrong; I love a good, well informed debate.  My point:  If it is stirring up more displeasure than your soul can take, step away, regroup, get your own balance back.


So much of what we hear about is way over the top in terms of reaction.  Hmm, somebody bumps you; don’t shoot him or her, okay?  You have an arguement; leave the pistol in its holder…or better yet, in the gun safe at home.
Next time, I’ll find some happy headlines for you.


Don’t Give Your Power Away

I have been reading headlines about the increase of calls to crisis centers and all of the fear people have because Donald Trump got elected.  I myself was stunned and distressed when I woke up to that news last Wednesday.  I still find it quite dismaying.


The thought that helped me was, “You know, I’ll go to bed tonight, get up tomorrow, eat breakfast and get on with my day…”


Here is my poetic way to encourage anybody in the world who might find this helpful:


People get elected;
New policies made;
Whatever you do,
Don’t give your power away!


Promises and comments;
Plans that seem to fade;
Whatever you do,
Don’t give your power away!


Pressures and challenges;
Provocations stay;
Whatever you do,
Don’t give your power away!


Hear the truth I’m sharing;
You still have a say:
Whatever you do,
Don’t give your power away!


You go to bed each night;
Get up every day;
Whatever you do,
Don’t give your power away!


You’re still a whole person,
So don’t be afraid;
Whatever you do,
Don’t give your power away!


Do you ever create a meal that turns out especially good, to the point that you want to share it?
I did that for lunch today:
Get out a cookie sheet; set the oven to 325.
Now, peel beets and cut them into 1/4-inch slices.  (I call these “beet steaks,” especially if they are large ones.)
Next, cut onions  into slightly thicker pieces.
Then, summer squash – zuchini, crook-neck… About 1/4-inches thick is good.
Now for roma tomatoes:  Cut them in half.
Add any other vegies you want – garlic cloves (peeled, of course) peppers, Kohlrabi…
Rub everything but the tomatoes with a bit of oil.  I used olive; coconut would be interesting.
Sprinkle a little salt on everything.  Some garlic-herb seasoning is good on the summer squash.
Pop the cookie sheet into the oven and go do something else for about 25 minutes.
Then, put a thin slice of cheese on each tomato half.  I used smoked butterkase – YUMMM!

Give things another 15 minutes.  By then, all of the vegies should be tender.  Load up your plate; enjoy!

Variation:  I get this really good sausage.  Today, it was roasted red pepper and garlic.  I put it on the cooki sheet with everything else.

Now, for dessert, you can start apples  about 20 minutes before the other things.  Cut them in half, core them, brush a little butter on them; sprinkle them with cinnamon sugar and let them bake until tender.  I think a little vanilla yogurt or ice cream would go nicely on top.


As I considered writing this, I thought it would be fun to share a little of my philosophy when it comes to food, especially dieting.
When I was in college, I wrote an essay called, “Dieting; America’s Eating Habit.”  We get it from all sides!  Take weight off fast with this pill or plan; try this cleansing diet; give up…name it – carbs, cooked foods, proteins, fats… We have calorie counters, carb counters, charts of every size and kind… and so it goes.


Let me start by asking you a question:  Are you managing your weight because you love and appreciate yourself; or are you thinking you’ll like yourself better once you reach that goal?


Take a little friendly advice from me:  Learn to love and appreciate yourself first.  Trust me, I know:  I lived with Anorexia for a number of years.  It’s hard to imagine how someone who doesn’t quite weigh 100 pounds can think she’ll be better at 90… At the risk of over siplifying things a bit, self rejection and hatred are often at the root of this sort of belief.  I have been well for 25 years now.  During that time, I have followed plans to lose weight and have kept it off without relapsing.  The keys to my healing are God first; then, the development of real love for myself.  If you are hoping to like yourself better, once you are slimmer, take some time to find some acceptance and appreciation before you make your food and exercise plans.


Step #2 in this process is to choose an approach that responds to your unique needs.  I, for example, eat more frequently and significantly reduce the amount of sugar, since that is the thing that causes me to gain weight.  I have a real need for protein, so I start my day with a good breakfast that includes some form of this much-needed ingredient.


I do the same kind of planning with exercise.  The areas that need the most attention are stamina and flexibility.  I don’t do well with a lot of weight lifting; besides, I get that in my daily routine.  I also need exercise to be enjoyable and easy for me to do.


You might want to talk with your doctor or health care provider as you develop your plan, especially if you have some sort of medical condition and take meds.


If you want some ideas for food and exercise, check out my mood management plan on the page called, “Practical Tools.”


Whatever you do, make sure you take good, loving care of yourself without punishment.
Step #3:  Do it!  Set a “start date” and make sure you begin.  If you mess up one day, get up and back on your plan the next.  Don’t try to make up for your mistakes and mishaps; just start where you are and proceed from there.


An overlying attitude needs to be respect:  For yourself and for the process.  When you see progress, take time to enjoy it; when you have setbacks, step away for a moment, make adjustments, take a deep breath and move on.  Lay down any perfectionistic ideals or notions you have.  All aspects of self care are part of a life-long journey, including diet and exercise.


Enlist people who will encourage and support you.  Coach them if necessary.  You might have to set some boundaries with people who aren’t so helpful.  That’s okay.


In short, make all physical care part of loving yourself.  Live “from the inside out,” recognizing that you are a whole person – spirit, soul and body.  If you start with this, keep it central to your planning and activity; then end with this, you will find success!